My Latest "Heart Surgery"!
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1
This past weekend was very emotional, painful and all of the above. It was as if God took a knife into my very most being and was cutting away at this area in my life called; FEAR. Your probably thinking; "Fear? Sarah having fear in her life? Whatever". Yeah fear. Fear of the past, the present, the future. Everything in between. And because of that fear I couldn't trust, I couldn't believe in others, or myself really. Because the fear was so dominant in my life I thought I had to be in control of everything, so I couldn't trust God fully.
I was afraid of messing up and making someone upset. I was afraid to get to close to a lot of people because I was afraid I would hurt them or influence them wrong. But yet in the process I actually ended up hurting them anyway.
Today though I can say that God is definitely setting me free from it. I have to remind myself at times that I am not in control of my life God is and I am totally seeing a difference in the way that I view life. I know it will take time but I also know that God is faithful and he wont give up on me. I am totally under construction. Pray for me though I have so far to go but I also serve a very big and powerful God!
"When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek." Psalm 27:8
posted by barista princess101 @ Wednesday, October 01, 2008
4 Comments
4 Comments:
Amen! How well I know those feelings! -- It certainly isn't easy to be honest to others when you have a reputation to uphold. That is one of the big lessons that I have yet to learn: how to truly be honest and open with my brothers and sisters. So many times I fear rejection if I would share who I really am with them.
hey girl. i miss you. i love how honest you are.
check out this link: http://www.scrapblog.com/viewer/viewer.aspx?sbId=716988 i had it only my blog but it wouldn't play...
*hugs*
Well Ryan I think that is a lesson that at least all of us have to learn at some point in time. ;) I have had to learn it and am still learning. I used to hold everything inside so much that nobody, not even myself really new who I was. When I began to open up it was amazing what it did in my life. I think the devil decieves us into thinking people will reject us if we open up because then we cant get the help and love we need. He also wants us to believe that we need to uphold our reputation so we aren't honest, when really it is Christ who should uphold it.
Amen and Amen!
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